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my_ugly_crap

and we voluntarily bought it

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Sep. 16th, 2007 | 03:50 pm
posted by: 70schild in my_ugly_crap

We went to the local second-hand clothing store, the kids and I. We *had* to buy this shirt and tell you about it. It's just that horrific.

Behold:

That's one ugly shirt
Our anonymous model shows off, for starters, the sheer magnitude of the lack of sizing. Is it meant to hang like that? Reminiscent of the Flashdance cropped sweatshirt and sweaty welder-turned-dancer, it actually fails miserably making the viewer wish a welding torch would appear to relieve our eyes. Not seen in the picture above, the drape is such that it actually pulls up a bit, leaving a huge gap at your back. Presumably to show off one’s tramp stamp. This is highlighted as well by the self-proclaimed title of “Bad Girl“.

And we haven’t even talked about the color yet. When was the last time you wore green and yellow together, on purpose, and were not at a sporting event? It’s a case of too many twirls at the center of the roller rink, with the kid who’s trying just too hard to be cool. What a feeling, indeed.

The nasty seam finishing (such as it is) the haphazard cropping, the polyester of the fabric, the colors, the lack of fit, yet the mysterious ability to make any wearer (however thin) look as if they’ve gained twenty pounds across their midsection all serve to render the viewer wishing they’d never heard of the eighties in the first place, let alone long for a style comeback.

And I’m thinking this may be a garment not manufactured recently, for the retro crowd, but one that was actually present in the eighties. Much like myself. Now, I don’t know about you young'uns today, but my memory of fashions back then were surrounded by glitter and pastels. Leg warmers, roller skates with rainbow laces and satin baseball jackets, dolphin shorts and glitter transfer tees. Those were the DAYS, my friends.

Do you think this shirt goes better with these or these?

I wish I had my camera today, because I just thought of more of my ugly crap... er, I mean family heirlooms... that you will be awed by. Plus I have work to avoid, so that's a bonus.

Note the bonus Saucy_Dwellings decor in the background highlighting Early Renovations.

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Comments {10}

(no subject)

from: ex_thexphial147
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 07:09 pm (UTC)
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I am really impressed by both the color and the stripes. Nothing like technicolor horizontal stripes to make anyone look sexy and "bad".

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Sunday's Clown

(no subject)

from: glossolalia
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
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Your write-up is fucking HILARIOUS.

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Andrea

(no subject)

from: 70schild
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. I've honed my skills on the kids.

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wickedmommy

(no subject)

from: wickedmommy
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 07:40 pm (UTC)
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wow..you so need to wear the slut shorts with that! That would be awesome! Oh please get the slut shorts and take more photos.

I'll give you internet cookies if you do!

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that's *Doctor* Rockstar to you

(no subject)

from: peskipiksi
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 07:49 pm (UTC)
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It’s a case of too many twirls at the center of the roller rink, with the kid who’s trying just too hard to be cool. What a feeling, indeed.

Aw man, that's perfect.

Now I want to go to the roller rink.

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Anoushka

(no subject)

from: mrdarcy_bunny
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 09:18 pm (UTC)
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The shirt/cropping of the picture makes it look like you have no arms. Just hands attached to your shoulders. D:

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Andrea

(no subject)

from: 70schild
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
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It's the shirt. I swear. :D

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Marilee

(no subject)

from: crushdmb
date: Sep. 16th, 2007 11:14 pm (UTC)
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BEST POST SO FAR.

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Sunny Piper, Girl Reporter

(no subject)

from: angriest_girl
date: Sep. 17th, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
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I wore something very similar to that in the 80s. It was white and aqua stripes and didn't have any lettering on it, but the cut is pretty much the same and OH MY GOD DID I ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE THAT?????

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Fighting the System with Balls

(no subject)

from: sayonara_snot
date: Sep. 18th, 2007 03:14 am (UTC)
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Ok, I haven't even read the write-up yet - that shirt has me laughing too hard!!!

Kudos! That is some truly hideous crap!

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